Today was such a difficult day for me. I wasn't struggling so much with my eating disorder issues but I was dealing with a lot of the emotional ones. Acknowledging the bulimia and binge eating disorder is only the start. Now I do not have the excuse to turn to these destructive patterns. I've been forced to face my past and deal with the present at hand. It's been frightening and overwhelming all at once. I felt like I was going to have a break down with the emotions that seemed to invade me today.
I would cry at the drop of a hat. I kept reminding myself to just stay in that moment and allow it to pass but it hurt so much. I wasn't sad about anything in general. I just was feeling everything today.
I was getting so frustrated over the lack of help out there for people with eating disorders. Or rather, there's a lot of help out there but the insurances make it very difficult to receive the treatments. They dictate everything. I've spoken to others and this is not uncommon to experience this.
A friend prayed for me and said something so profound and instrumental in giving me peace of mind. She reminded me that God is the one who is the Great Physician and Wonderful Counselor. No matter what the obstacles I face, God is the answer. Nothing is outside of His will. Matthew 11:28-30 says, "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."
I find so much comfort in knowing that Jesus knows everything I go through. He has offered me the choice to learn from Him. What did Jesus do? He turned to God. Nothing Jesus did was outside of God's will and everything was sought through prayer and meditation. There is so much peace for my soul because Jesus took care of everything on the cross and He has the power to help me overcome all of the obstacles that come my way.
Yeah, I had a rough day but I don't let my emotions justify actions that may not be beneficial to me. On the contrary, I bring those emotions into captivity by remembering the good God has done in my life. This hard day shall pass but God remains the same and I draw my strength from Him.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
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So beautifully said Carol. It's something everyone with any kind of honesty about being human can learn from.
ReplyDeleteThanks Brooke :o) I really appreciate that.
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